Earl is trying to talk me into seeing this as an accident. \u201cSee, he could have pulled the shotgun this way by the muzzle across the seat. With the truck canted over on the slope like that it would be about right to hit him in the temple.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I use all my patience not to laugh. I like Earl. He\u2019s a good detective. He\u2019s been out here on this back road in the dark for hours, taking pictures, setting up lights. He wants this to be an accident. It just isn\u2019t. I have got to tell him so, one way or another. Kindly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The call had come around 2AM. Dead asleep, not on call for my group, no lady in labor, so I was sound, dead asleep. But I still keep the skill of waking briskly whenever needed. The nice dispatch lady asks me to go to a scene in the far north of the county. For once, I know the location as she describes it. I used to hunt up past there. \u201cPlus\u201d she says, \u201cYou\u2019ll see all the lights.\u201d What? \u201cThey got all the night lights set up to investigate the scene.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure enough, when I got there about 45 minutes later, in the chill of a dark late winter night, the whole valley glowed from the generator driven work lights. Their hum, roar, mutter kept a constant crowd noise in this isolated spot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I pull up, between the Sherriff\u2019s Department rigs, I see a dirty four-wheel drive truck kind of on its side, down below the road. The passenger side is up against a tree. It doesn\u2019t look like a wreck or a rollover, just like the little truck is tired and leaning on its right two wheels to take a break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a body back behind the truck, up on the road. I can\u2019t really see it because they\u2019ve thrown a red tarp over it. But there\u2019s a blood trail in the gravel I can see leading from right outside the driver\u2019s door to the tarp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The road is gravel here. The pavement ran out a quarter mile back. The truck is off the outside of a turn. The drop off is steep, as is the uphill cut bank. If that little tree hadn\u2019t held, she could have tumbled a few times before she landed in the river below. But instead, she\u2019s on two wheels, the uphill ones up in the air. I can\u2019t imagine rocking out of this stuck spot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl tells me the story. \u201cWell Doc, it looks like he got off the road here and couldn\u2019t get back up on. See the spin marks under the tires? Hell, that little tree is starting to bend a bit since we got here. These uphill tires are six inches higher than they were. See, we think he reached across the seat to get his shotgun after he got stuck and it went off right in his hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rushing the story, a bit. I\u2019m groggy. It\u2019s cold. The lights make your breath a cloud at their angle. My nose is dripping. Back up a bit. Keep getting the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEarl, who called it in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, we got his name. Seems he came by and saw this guy dead on the road and the shotgun by him. He was worried someone shot him and might still be around, so he drove on. Called it in from Potlatch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat was around ten.\u201d And I\u2019m here at 3AM. And these guys much longer. I appreciate that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid he know him? Did the guy who called it in know the guy?\u201d I gesture toward the tarp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnybody else see him today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Earl shifts, \u201cSomebody said they saw him with a passenger go through Potlatch this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJesus, Earl, you think somebody was with him when this happened?\u201d I\u2019m not being real kind here. I should have done better. But Earl plugs on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot really, no sign of it. Course, the ground is frozen, and we wouldn\u2019t see any tracks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWho is this guy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He gives me the name, struggling with the pronunciation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou guys know him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, yeah. He\u2019s been taken in a time or two, mostly for drunkenness. Last time he was wacko, doc. He had to go to the State Mental Hospital for a time. Seems he\u2019s got some mental problems, plus he drinks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere does he live?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl smiles. \u201cUp here somewhere. No one knows, really. When we took him in before he wouldn\u2019t tell us where he was staying. Some of the guys are pretty sure it\u2019s up one of these logging roads. I figure he\u2019s built himself a hooch out here in the woods and just comes to town now and again. He\u2019s a real looney, doc.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl smiles at that, knowing I love medical terminology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut get this, doc. Look at all these papers we found on his front seat.\u201d He goes over to the back of one of the rigs and pulls out a plastic Ziplock with the papers. \u201cThese describe his diagnosis, what the VA is treating him for and all his disability forms. Seems he was working with this lawyer in town to get the disability he wanted. And right here on top is the notice that he got it. Dated just last week. So, the guy should have been as happy as a pig in shit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look down at the frozen gravel, almost white in the glare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know this story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The disability dance so many do for so long, and then what does it mean? I have watched patients fight, so sure they were right to get \u201ctheir disability\u201d, like it was a possession kept from them. Then, when granted, this long sought determination, it gives so little. But the fight, at least was over. And their touchdown dance was as pitiful as their chronic pain. This long-sought determination of permanent disability granted that they would receive a measly $759 a month was not a real victory. It was a sentence. But that\u2019s maybe another story. Why is this guy dead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I keep asking Earl questions. I\u2019m putting off going straight to the body. \u201cAny family? Is he from here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, family back east somewhere. We don\u2019t got no next of kin. But we\u2019re going to call his lawyer in the morning, see if he knows anybody to contact.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m feeling tired. And it\u2019s cold. But I\u2019m trying to respect the work my colleagues have done. They have put a lot of information together. \u201cCan I look at those papers?\u201d I take the Ziplock, but then ask, \u201cAny booze in the truck, any medications?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLook for yourself, doc. Brandon, open up the door for him, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The deputy who has been standing by us goes to the driver\u2019s door and opens it upwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The tilted cab is strewn with empty beer cans, Copenhagen tins, pop cans, candy bar wrappers, booze bottles and old papers. And mud; mud on the floor, mud on the pedals. It was like he couldn\u2019t help but track it in. He lived in it when it wasn\u2019t frozen. Or dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJesus.\u201d I say again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHate to find his hooch.\u201d Brandon grins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHell, it\u2019s probably booby trapped, as crazy as this guy is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look at the papers. Lots of government forms from VA hospitals with lots of diagnoses: Post traumatic stress disorder, attention deficit disorder, alcoholism, depression, personality disorder, chronic low back pain. There were the lists of drugs prescribed, but it looked like more miss than hit. I doubted any drug was going to cure what this guy suffered with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s the gun?\u201d I ask Earl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He goes and gets it from his rig. Evidence. Pump action 12 gauge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLoaded?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe cleared it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow many shells?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFour left.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPrints?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl winces. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
None? I look up startled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo but he was wearing gloves, doc. You\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s still blood on the barrel and the pump handle. I\u2019m standing in the road facing the driver\u2019s side of the truck as it tips upward. At my feet is a bit of the blood and the trail leading back toward the tarp. I look up. There is a canopy of fir and spruce and cedar above, glaringly illuminated by the yammering lights. The cedar boughs hold bits of fat and blood smears that shine different in the tangent light. I scan. Bits of skull are across the cab and hood, as well as blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not much of his head left, I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy did you move the body?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHad to get the lights in here, doc. Plus, he was kinda blocking the road.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShow me where he was lying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl and Brandon shuffle about, showing me with gestures where the body lay, where the gun was, what they had found.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet\u2019s see him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We go back to the tarp. The light isn\u2019t too good here. It\u2019s crossways. I try to imagine their description of how he laid, and the gun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe gotta get him back into the light. I need to see what\u2019s left of his head.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl and Brandon and I drag him back toward where he was on the gravel by his rig. I put the vinyl gloves on in the cold so I can mess with his shredded head. I turn the shoulders so I can see his right temple. The skin left there is torn and ragged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNow show me how you think this happened.\u201d I say to Earl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He gets a hold of his eagerness and backs the story up to the beginning as he sees it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, we think he was actually headed out to town, see. There\u2019s tracks up there on the cut bank where we think he turned around.\u201d We all walk up beyond the glare about 40 yards to where there are fresh tire tracks in the uphill dirt. \u201cSo, as he\u2019s headed out to town about nine or ten or so, he decides he\u2019s forgot something, maybe and he turns around.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAny money on him?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNine dollars.\u201d Earl pauses. No robbery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He continues. \u201cWell, he\u2019s drunk and can\u2019t make this turn and drives off the downhill side here. He tries to drive out, but she won\u2019t grab. So, he gets out to go get help. He thinks to grab his shotgun out a the front seat and it goes off as he\u2019s pulling it toward himself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd hit\u2019s him right in the temple?\u201d I ask, skeptical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I exhale and shake my head. \u201cSorry Earl, that is a contact wound on his temple. He, or somebody, was holding that gun against his head when it went off. No powder burns, no distance from the muzzle to the skin. So, Earl, if no one else was here, and you don\u2019t think this is a homicide\u2026.do you think it is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen I\u2019ve got a hard time seeing this as an accident. If he\u2019s pulling the loaded shotgun toward him the shot would have gotten his arm, neck, the whole side of his face, and he\u2019d have powder marks. But the blast hit him square in the right temple. Contact wound, or very near. The muzzle was less than an inch from his skin, maybe even up against it. Plus, look at all that spray.\u201d I gesture toward the cedar branches with blood and brains above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think he pulled the gun out, racked a slug in the chamber, put the butt on the ground, bent his head over the muzzle and pressed the trigger with his right finger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earl and Brandon were quiet. \u201cBut why would he do that? When he just got all that money from disability and all? And his truck ain\u2019t totaled. We could pull it up outa there easy enough. What\u2019s the reason for suicide?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked down at the frozen gravel. I thought of all the stories, the reasons, all the patients I have worked with as they struggled with their disabilities and whether they could get \u201cTheir Disability\u201d. I had some idea, but I really didn\u2019t know just how the brain, now gone from this dead man might have worked. And I kick frozen gravel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEarl, I\u2019m not sure I know. I\u2019ll talk to his lawyer in the morning. I know him. Maybe he\u2019ll have an idea. But the scene says this was a suicide.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I turn and walk back toward the Hilux, then turn back to them in the glaring, raging lights. \u201cI\u2019m gonna go. I\u2019ll ask the funeral home to run his blood. I\u2019ll talk to you guys in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His lawyer was little help. \u201cNo way he\u2019d kill himself now. We worked on this for two years getting him his disability. He should have been as happy as a pig in shit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhen did you last see him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThursday, four days ago. I gave him the final determination papers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe seem okay then to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, he was fine. He was happy the judge had decided for him, and he would be getting regular money.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Blood alcohol 280<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cause of Death: Shotgun Wound to the Head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Manner of Death: Suicide<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Earl is trying to talk me into seeing this as an accident. \u201cSee, he could have pulled the shotgun this way by the muzzle across the seat. With the truck canted over on the slope like that it would be … Continue reading